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Jul 30

Love: Tough Love The Enabler Letting Go Part Two

One mothers heartfelt story on tough love.  I attached the link below for easy access.

http://www.myshoesmystory.com/2012/07/practicing-tough-love-a-mothers-survival.html

What will others think when they read my story on tough love?

I have often thought about how you as a reader would answer that question.  Have you ever had a family member that made you part of the crisis instead of letting you help solve the crisis?  When you are part of the crisis you become the enabler to the situation.

There is one thing I want you to know.  I deeply love both of my troubled daughters.  Tough Love is not based on how much you don’t love someone. 

Closing a door and starting the process of tough love does not mean it has to be forever either.  It depends on your situation.  In my situation the door I closed may never open again for one of my daughters.  She was aware of the consequences that could happen and she knew what she must do in order to keep the door open.  This is not a payback or an immoral choice; it is now my job to protect the grandchildren which I adopted as my own.  My daughter let her rights be taken away of being their parent.  She was told she needed to do three things in order to keep her children by the legal system.  One she needed to get a job, two create stable housing for the children and three go to required parenting classes.  She chose not to complete any of the CPS’s requests and to continue her way of life and walk away. 

She was told many times what the consequences would be as we went through court proceedings for two years.  I gave her many chances and I told her what the children needed and how she could still help the family.  I didn’t make any decisions or choices for her.  My daughter made her own choices by not standing up to her responsibilities.

I am sharing my stories hoping I can help others.  I have walked this road dealing with out of control teenagers for many years.  My thoughts and feelings have come from experience as there are many roads that I have traveled dealing with this issue.  My knowledge is from researching and actual experience as a real mom of troubled teenage girls who are now young troubled adults.

Life has been an adventure walking in my shoes as you can read on the *My Shoes My Story.website. Living one day at a time using positive thinking skills to move forward and letting go of the things I am not in control of.  When you reach the realization that you can’t save your own born children, family members or friends from their own mistakes.  You have made progress.  It is very important to accept in your heart that only God knows the answers while keeping your hope alive. You are only hurting yourself by being an enabler.

Feel free to comment and if you do not want it posted under the topic just let me know.  Your message will get to me first.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to read my blog.  I know what it is like to be lost within yourself during chaos.  I also know the pain in your heart you experience while practicing tough love. 

 

 

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